I am feeling better about myself as of late. It is funny when you feel good about yourself how much more you want to do with yourself- makeup, jewelry and hair. I am not any where near where I want to be, but I am trying to live in the moment. Be proud in this moment and cherish the journey. Ladies, that is soooooo hard to do. I think we women are the worst when it comes to rushing around, doing, doing, doing. It is hard to be in the midst of it all. It is sure as heck hard to enjoy any of it.
I am the world's worst when it comes to self bashing. I can call myself all kinds of things I would never let another get away with doing. But I have to stop that. No matter if I am thin or chubby, I am still worth more than the numbers on some scale. I am better than a piece of cake, a burger or a bag-o-fries. Food and weight should not define me.
I guess that is what this journey it suppose to teach me: Submission of my body to Abba, self acceptance not dependent weight, beauty not dependent solely on physical attractiveness and my identity not built into looks. As vein as it may be I want to beautiful, sexy and self satisfied in terms of my body and my looks. However, I have slowly over the years realized this has little to do with being happy or feeling beautiful. It is a lie we tell ourselves when we believe we are only what others can see and our value is only in our beauty and youth.
It is a blessing that the Father sees something more in me. He wants something more from me. I am something more than things that have little consequence.
HIGH POINT: Being able to have a piece of cake and not totally flip out.
LOW POINT: Thinking too much about the cake- in that I mean making the cake more than just food. Giving it some sort of power.
Misty "Still Dropping" Lowe
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